WARNING: Contains swearing.

Adults ... read on ...

The male production staff member ( apparently called Dave ) is  holding a copy of the News of The World and talking about camera direction, and getting close-ups of the papers.

" Don't you hate the magazines "  he says as one falls out of the paper. " They're all doubles " [points at double spreads in paper]

Female production crew member giggles at headline " How duvet do it "'.

" He'll be dead by now .... [mumble] Sunday papers " he says [ Reagan? ]

He shows one paper and he says " She's giving him head Sonia, disgusting ... ok so that was the papers Guys "

[ Reads more of the practice BBLB script, and talks about camera direction, and talks about to someone called Squelchy, at one point doing a falsetto voice ]

Dave and female ( Sonia ? ) both go to sit at ' the desk '.

More talk about direction, running times and Dermots positioning. Gal sits at desk while Dave is heard chatting away about direction etc.

Dave sits down and says " got to get some jeans with bigger pockets ", and nearly falls off the chair " Fuuu... ..."

Camera man says " Fucking don't do that love "

Dave says " cor I nearly went then "

Camera man ' We've got it all on tape "

Dave "' No, don't don't, that was close ... fucking hell ... these are lethal .. actually I wouldn't have fallen cos look ... " [ rocks back and forth on chair ]

Dave talks about how his knees could have got jammed underneath it, and camera man says " Fucking please stop it ".

Dave and the camera man have a bit more banter while the gal looks on with a disdainful look, he calls the camera man " a bugger ".

[more practice of BBLB script]

Dave " Can you pass my Sunny D ... I'm drinking Sunny D cos it's filth ... why do you think I'm drinking Sunny D ... I didn't have any Red Bull "

Dave talks his weekend and says the phrase  " Fucking Hyper " he chats more about it and repeats " Fucking Hyper ... off his tits "

More banter between him and the camera guy.

A big bloke comes over and messes around with the monitor on the desk that is showing pictures from the house.

The TV monitor shows the girls in the shower

Camera guy " Go on Shell, get them out love "

Dave ' Argghhh ... ok so you'll give a bloke head on telly but you won't show us your nips ... fine ... no puppies ... no puppies for Christmas "

 

They look at girls in shower on monitor

Camera guy " Shell I think, or Vanessa "

Dave " see he knows, he watches ... "

Camera guy " I know totty when I see it "

More BBLB script practice as screen shows two girls in the shower ( in bikinis ).

Camera guy " She's got her arse hanging out ... dark haired bird "

Dave " It's Meesh ... Dirty Michelle "

Camera guy " It's not even worth putting on that bikini "

Dave " She should have covered her face with it ... she should have covered her face with it, much better to look at then "

Camera guy " She's gorgeous "

Dave " She's not ... she's got a face like a bulldog ... a bulldog licking piss off a thistle ... she's got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle "

[ more banter between him and the girl about BBLB running ]

He leaves desk to go outside, swears more.

Camera is left on empty desk as you hear them talking about BBLB.

Silence and camera is left focused on desk, monitor and Sunny D container ;) Camera moves to Dermots ' sofa ' as Dave yaps more about BBLB running, ' Sonia '  walks back and forth.

Dermot appears.

Banter.

Dermot " I've got something for you Dave, not with me "

Dave " Just teasing "

Dave talks about when he is in next, and when he is doing the E4 show.

Camera wobbles about and then focuses on Dermot who discusses his sound levels and says hello to ' Anna '.

Dermot sits down on the red sofa.

Banter.

Dermot " I'm struggling to talk about this year you know "

Dermot " ... it's two way ... I don't have a clue ... I genuinely don't have a clue ... no I think it's just questions and answers "

Dermot " Did we all have nice days yesterday ? "

Camera guy talks to Dermot about his day.

Dermot " ... yes I do ... I was there yesterday ... I don't go in as much as I'd like to ... "

Dermot checks his ear piece sound levels " Hello ... awww there's a wonderful time delay on it ... amazing ... I feel like a war correspondent "

<crew laughter>

Dermot " Nivea me up that is all I am saying ... in the gym yesterday ... looked up ... there's only one sexy urban ... we need one sexy urban ... get her on the line ... "

<crew laughter>

Dermot " ... and then I went home and I had some crisps ... you know what I'm talking about Bernie [Ernie?] [Dermot winks] ... well they weren't potatoes let me put it that way ... "

<crew laughter>

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